Some years ago, I was in an accident that could have easily ended my life but I walked away from it with only minor injuries. After my accident, my wake up call, I slowly began to realize that I had all along been giving depression a home. I’d been letting it in as I would let in a familiar neighbor and feeding it like a hungry child. Depression didn’t have me, I had it, and I was hosting it without a fight.
Depression is sneaky, it manipulates you into thinking it’s ok to feel sorry for yourself and you let it take residence in your mind, in your heart in your LIFE. My friend, depression is a thief. It steals away hours, days even years of your life if you let it. Fight it off as you would a thief trying to get into your home. Depression is there to steal your life, your heart and soul. We think of our homes as the place with a roof where we lay our heads at night, that is not the only home we have. We have a home within the very bodies and minds we inhabit while on this earth. Fight off intruders even if they present themselves to you as someone you’ve known for most of your life.
My life, while by no means perfect, is so much better having fought this battle and at times, I still fight. For me, it gets easier with time and for me it has taken some time to get where I am now. We are all different, we don’t know how long it will take to get to a more comfortable state of mind. Start now and arm yourself with the tools you need the same way you would protect your home with security systems and weapons or whatever is within reach.
Learn to hear/feel the intruder approaching and start your guard right away, don’t wait until he’s taken up residence. If he all ready has then fight! You are fighting for not only your life but for those around you who are affected by your mood and by your energy.
These are good tools:
-Realize that you can control your thoughts. Not always easily, but YOU are in CONTROL – TAKE IT. So many of us tend to lay down and let the pain beat us to pieces. If you need to cry, cry, get it out. Then MOVE ON. Don’t let it become a part of who you are and if you all ready have, move on, it’s not too late.
– When you get upset, simply stop, pay attention to how your body is reacting. Take control over yourself and your mouth. Close your eyes, breathe slowly in and out. (I sometimes will go off to a room by myself, even if it’s a bathroom stall, anywhere where I can have privacy if possible.) Feel the breath in and out of your lungs and realize that this is the moment you have and hold. Right now. Not the past or what has happened to you – that is gone. Not the future and what may or may not happen. Right now just be in the moment until you are more at peace, more calm.
-You need to stop negative self talk immediately. STOP saying “I’m not pretty enough” skinny enough, smart enough, whatever. Realize you ARE enough, it may sound corny but who freaking cares? This is your life and it works, it doesn’t sound too good bashing yourself all of the time either. What good has negative self talk ever brought you? Are you doing it because you want other people to say “Oh stop, you are not that?” Quit seeking reassurance through others. You are the only one responsible for your happiness, not your spouse, not your children, not your BFF. You. Quit making excuses and do what YOU need to do to make you healthy.
While we are only responsible for our own happiness, at the same time, our energy, our negativity/positivity affects our spouse, our children, our co-workers, everyone you come in contact with, so why would you want to spread that dark cloud? Instead, fight against the thief of your life. You can be the victor and truly LIVE.
-One other surprising tool that I’ve found, is stop the gossip. Do you talk about people in your life/ at your employment a lot? This causes more problems than we even realize. Gossip is poison and for some people it is such a part of life that they don’t even realize how it can spider out and cause pain, not only in the life of those who are the subject of the gossip, but as the gossiper as well. If you are the gossiper, (and you have a heart) at some time you may end up feeling guilty for things you’ve said and you may worry about how it could affect you later on. It is also one of those negative things that causes us to lose our compassion for others. Go by that rule from long ago, if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
-Start being grateful. Keep a daily journal of what you were grateful for that day. Write in it as you wake up and before you go to sleep. Even if the only thing you have to be grateful for is the air you breathe and the life you have in you at this moment, be grateful for it. As the other old saying goes ‘Change your attitude and you will change your life.’
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure this is all more difficult for some people than it is for others. It is also more difficult in the beginning than it becomes later on. Don’t focus on how difficult it is, focus on the fact that you CAN control it. If you lose focus, don’t beat yourself up, just re-focus, practice makes you better at it.
Stop right now and close your eyes. Picture yourself at the end of your life, in your mind, move into the moment in the future where you know ‘the time’ is coming soon.
Look back and don’t focus on the things you did wrong. Look at what you have the luxury of changing now and don’t procrastinate.
As far as most of us know, we have one go at this thing called life. Don’t spend it in front of your tv or computer or with the intruder sitting on your chest.
Get up, get out, help people, and learn to live again.
It’s ok, you deserve it.
No one else can do this for you.
Only you can do it.
Bless your journey, bless your life.
I wish you peace.